As I wait in the car repair place for the assessor to tell me how long for the repair, I have developed a theory. Morning television shows are the result of a capitalist conspiracy to make workers regret using leave to attend to their health or other personal needs. “Oh, you want to steal office hours from me just because you’re quote-unquote ‘sick’? Ok, but here’s some Matt Shirvington to keep you company. You’ll do it in Saturday next time, won’t you?”